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by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. On August 11 2013, The New York Times published an article by Judith Warner in its Sunday Magazine, entitled “The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In,” a revisiting of the women interviewed in Lisa Belkin’s 2003 Times article “The Opt-Out Revolution.” The women, who had all given up high-powered jobs to be…
by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. Starting in the 1980’s a small handful of social science researchers began to study same sex couples, mostly to see their relationships lasted as long as straight folk and whether kids raised in gay households grew up to be ‘normal.’ Along the way, the studies have revealed a lot more about similarities and differences…
By now most people have heard about John Gottman’s research comparing gay and straight couples, publicized a few years back. Gottman, a respected psychologist and researcher, did a study of gay relationships that revealed that for the most part same and mixed sex couples had similar similar levels of relationship satisfaction, similar problems, and coped with the…
by Margie Nichols In Part 1 I maintain that sexual compatibility is way more important in making a (monogamous) relationship satisfying than we realize. And the more I wrote, the more I realized that the vestigial Puritan fear/distaste of sex our culture carries not only makes it hard to admit that you really, really, really…
by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. I’ve been following the E-Harmony debate with interest. No, not the controversy about their CEO’s stupid anti-gay remarks. I mean the scientific debate, about the truth of the site’s claims that it is able to match people for maximum relationship compatibility. E-Harmony has a proprietary algorithm that apparently matches people on…
By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. I’m frustrated by hearing sex experts tell people to ‘communicate better’ about sex. I’m impatient with advice to ‘tell your partner what you want.’ For one thing, many people don’t know what they want. Even those who can be pretty specific tend to know only what they want OUT OF THE THINGS…
by Margie Nichols, Ph.D. “The bonds of wedlock are so heavy that sometimes it takes three to carry them” quipped Esther Perel, author of ‘Mating in Captivity,’ quoting Alexander Dumas. Acclaimed psychotherapist Perel did a workshop for the IPG staff in September. We love her because she always has a fresh and unique take on things. …
Jordan Hunt, L.C.S.W., our guest blogger, is a psychotherapist who worked at IPG for many years until he moved to Connecticut this summer. A friend of mine recently asked me to comment on his blog where he was posing the questioning of why gay men have such a difficult time finding people to “date”. Below…
By Margie Nichols, Ph.D. IN OUR LAST POST, WE DESCRIBED THE MOST COMMON ROMANTIC MYTHS THAT DESTROY SEX LIFE. HERE WE TELL YOU WHY THEY ARE WRONG. Most people are raised with a lot of romantic myths about sex, and like the women in the picture, we refuse to see, hear, or talk about evidence that…
By Margie Nichols, Ph.D Jack Morin says the thing that derails the sex life of long-term couples is the romantic myths they adhere to. Below I’ve listed the most common myths we associate with love. Take the test below: Read the following assertions- check which ones you believe: If he/she loves me, he/she will •…